Under The Lords
Wing
By: Jessica Swainson
For Gary and Lisa
who always believed in me
I have days where I struggle with life, because I’m special need. I
worry everyday if I am going to get judged, based on my special needs, I also
worry that I will not get married because it just hasn’t worked out for me, and
because of my handicapped. I think to myself “Who wants to deal with me and my
special needs?” Whenever I feel this way someone calls me or something out of
the ordinary will happen. I am going to tell you of three experiences
I remember
this one time I was shopping with my mom and we walked by this chalk bored, Mom
said “ Jess look” so I looked and there it was ‘ Make Jessica Proud’. I know
that God was smiling down on me that day.
There is another experience that He gave me that I will never forget.
This one time I was in Cardston going to the Latter Day Saint Temple. I was a
wreck; I’ve just had my heart broken by a guy that I told I loved. I went for a
walk around the temple grounds and as I did so I felt the Lord lift my heart
up. It like he was saying to me” Jessica I know your heart aches, but it will
get better.” So later that day I sat by my mother on a bench, and she said to
me “ Jess try to think of a bad thought.” I replied, “ I can’t think of
anything.” I know that God was holding my hand that day.
My final experience happened recently, I was on a dating site and I met these two men who were very interested in me, and I
was very excited because I never thought a man would like me. So I was
watching, this television show and it was about this lady, who got cat fished
and so I believe that the show was gods way, of telling me that online dating
is not for me. So later that night I found out that one of the guys was a fraud,
and the other guy blocked me. I believe that He was protecting me. He was
telling me that He has a guy out there for me.
God has and
always will protect me and, I am so grateful for his hand in my life.
